Here we go again

These random bursts of anger/depression need to stop. I'm beginning to think there's something (new) wrong with me.


I woke up real late this morning because I spent the night at Rachel's. Last night was her birthday party, so a few friends gathered at her new apartment for drinks and shenanigans, and as usual it was a lot of fun! When we eventually got up today she made me macaweenie for breakfast, followed by mint chocolate chip ice cream... You can see why I'm struggling with this diet thing.
After Rachel dropped me back home, I changed out of my cute dress from the night before (which I had slept in) and into something a little more appropriate for walking to the store. I only really went to get some of that amazing orange pineapple peach juice I love so much, but ended up in the vitamin aisle again. I hate buying diet pills at the store, I feel like people are judging me as I kneel by the shelves to compare shiny promises of a flatter tummy and a smaller ass, or as I approach the counter with my latest finds. I don't know if I feel worse when I see the woman with her basket full of junk food eye me up like I'm a bitch for rubbing it in that I'm half her size and still unhappy, or the skinny chick who looks at me with disgust because I'm twice her size and could use all the help I can get. Either way I leave the store disgusted with myself. I usually get home wanting to down an entire pint or two of ice cream for comfort because it would make me feel better for a short period of time, but I'd hate myself even more in the long run.
Today I opted for a healthier dietary supplement. No 'miracle' or crazy crash dieting, thanks. This time I picked up a bottle of SlimQuick™ Ultra Fat Burner caplets, because it's a brand designed to address the six main issues women have when trying to lose weight. It was made for women by specialists that understand that women generally have a harder time trying to lose weight, so they came up with these awesome little pills to help a girl out. They also have a great website where I can track my exercises and meals and work toward my goal, as well as give and receive support from other women online! My fingers are actually crossed this time.